how childish some people can get .
shall not harp on further .
im tired .

i typed out a beautifully long post just now, except it got eaten up .
screw technology .
i'd much rather sit reading a book than squint at tiny words on the computer screen .
any day .

anyway,
i'm starting to miss my mummy's ex-husband .
yes,
that would mean the father of both myself and my sister .

perhaps it's because of this wonderfully gorgeous book im reading .
maybe .

husband facing midlife crisis leaves wife with two children aged eight and six and goes of to live with his bimbo of a secretary ten years his junior who he claims he is "very much in love with " and "cannot possibly cotemplate life without" .

blood-chillingly famaliar .
except she wasn't his secretary of course .she was some ms independant who bloody earns more than he and he's the one forking bills for everything though that honestly shouldnt be a problem, but can't seem to pay for his daughter's tuition fees, the daughter who by the way, is taking her bloody PSLE this year and who needs as much help as she can possibly get .
and he also can't pay for tuition fees for his older daughter,insisting she bargain with her chinese tutor for a lower charge of fees .

difference is that in the book,
the father still spends time with his kids .
at least for the moment .
in real life it's different .
the young bimbotic girlfriend gets whiney and
BAM .
the kids are outta his life as easily as he kissed his first wife goodbye .
wait,
easier .

the thing with my relationship with my daddy is that we can have a goodbye good time together .honest mistake,i'm sorry .
as in,
we are capable of having a good time together .
but recently,
hah .

maybe it's because we're growing up to fast for him .
last year's birthday was "happy birthday darling"
from which he then proceeded to make me guess my own age .
no doubt to refresh his own memory of how old his oldest daughter was .
more recently there's a point where he leans close and studies my ear and starts counting and recounting the number of earholes i have .
which by the way,
is not alot .
i have four on my right and two on my left, hardly worth staring at for ages over .
then he nags and goes on about how come mummy lets me pierce so much .
one of the last rows we had occurred when i got pissed off and said
"if i were living with you,i'd be alot more pierced .mann i mean alot more pierced"
then he created a whole hulabaloo about me not respecting him just because i don't live with him .

the last time i met up with him,
wait,when was the last time i met up with him?hah .
i do remember the last time we ATTEMPTED to meet up though .
but we scratched those plans in the end because darling bimbo wanted to go swim where we were heading to play squash .
what is bloody wrong with you woman!
you see this man,the man you have wrenched out of a family,
seven days a week and for five hours you cannot leave him alone with his children?
what is wrong with you?
but he gets all defensive of course .
"auntie chng just wants to go for a swim .i don't understand why you have to be so harsh towards her"
go swim somewhere else then, like somewhere far far away from us where we won't see you flitting from beach chair to beach chair in some skimpy suit .

no,
i havnt seen her do that yet but it comes as no suprise and i can imagine her doing nothing else besides that .

in the end we didn't go out .
he said he texted me on my birthday but i received nothing .
giving him the benefit of the doubt and blaming say,screwed up phone lines which does often cause messages not to be received,upon hearing from your ex wife that your daughter did not receive your texted birthday wishes,why not try sending again?
in fact,
why not call?
actually,
why not turn up at her doorstop with a bouquet and make her think the world is perfect for one fleeting moment since you left her mother and sent her perfect world crashing?

ah,the things you could do but don't .

i texted him on his birthday sending birthday wishes though .
only due to the prompting of mummy or course .
i held back the words
"and im sending this because unlike some, i don't let minor tiffs get in the way of wishing someone a happy birthday"

i cannot believe i have wasted a whole blog post on him .
but there,
i love and hate him,my mummy's ex-husband .
my biological daddy .

the person my sister still puts upon a pedastal and defends whenever i show the slightest hint of anger towards him .
for crying out loud .

i don't understand the anger inside me at the moment .
i think it's fuelled by the fact that i'm missing him .
sad isn't it?
but i can't cry .
i honestly can't .
i think i'd feel a tad better if i cried it all out .
but i can't .
i'm just sitting, missing him and hating him and yet not being bale to hate him at the same time .
hah .

i shall stop my rants here .im tired .

ohh .and i can't get a tan .
ahh .
Charis Vera `livedd @ 12:28:00 am