wen one saes "intensive rehearsals" wad first comes to your mind?
loads and loads of rehearsals? as many as every single saturdae?and meeting up a few times during the week?
that was wad came into mah mind...but intensive training and rehearsals meant so much more...so much more...
the june holidaes haf been given over to countless musical practices, and as part of the main cast,i am required to come every single dae...the maximum period of time i would hafta stay is...8am-5pm? that's longer than normal school hours.
but we haf been told to bring our holidae homework simply to fill in time as we wait for our scenes...i intend to finish mah maths by mondae and any other holidae homework over a maximum period of two weeks,thus being able to enjoy my 3rd week break freely,without hafing to worri bout anything else.
i got my belly button piercing todae,finally.after so long of waiting for it...i finally had it done.i had to wait an extra 20mins while they steralized the damn stud?n we had to pay up first....apparently steralizing is pretty ex...cux wen u go back to haf de stud changed,dey gonna hafta steralize it fer u first n dey gonna get u ta pay $15.yeaa...n tho i saed i'd get de ring instead of de stud cux it was cheaper...i got de stud instead...cux de ladieh saed it wud be easier to clean n stuff...
so....yeaa,mah mama paid 60buckx fer it?haha....de guy hu did de piercing was a real pro...he's been doing it fer 8 years...so afta twenty minutes of walkin arnd wondering why mah plams were sweaty...we went back...
we were shown into dis room...and de guy briefed mi on how ta take care of de piercing n stuff....
den he made mi lie down on de chair...all dis while mah mama wanted ta be dere so she cud see mi being tortured...how evil can she be?budden...she dId pay...and i wanted her inside aniwae...haha...
aniwae...i shall proceed to tell u in full detail wad happened...bwahaha...
let's see,he marked de place he was gonna pierce...den had to clean de whole area and stuff...den using pliers...he held in position de part intended fer piercing and left it dere...even dat part was painful lehx...haha
den using a brand new needle...he pushed de needle thru de skin,and while he went to get de stud,he put a cork dere so dat i wudnt kana poke by de needle,which was damn sharp btw...haha...
den he kinda put de stud to de end of de needle and pulled de whole thing thru...dat part hurt to0,haha...and now...wheeeeeeeeee.
i haf a belly button piercing!ta-daaa...haha...de stud is blue...n it looks kinda nice....haha...auntie susan freaked wen she saw it...she was lyk.."real arh?realli poke thru?" n i kinda laffed?n she started wincing as she tried to picture it...haha...
i am so gonna allow mah kids ta get belly button piercings to0...haha...it looks so kewt!seriously....haha...now?
i'm currently searching fer a layout fer mah dearie sista...haha...being de nice mi dat i am *coff*...i'll be changin her layout-again...to sumthin wif avril lavigne hopefully,cux she lyks it...
yeaa...n tomorroe i intend to go cmc...keep shiyun company larh...mah meimei...how can i nort?especially wif dat bitch melissa arnd...haii
aniwae...til nxt tyme...nite nite peeps...
Charis Vera `livedd @ 11:15:00 pm
sumtymes things happen to u...n u dun realli noe how ta react....wad to do...wad to sae.dat's pretty much wad's goin on wif mi...i think
mah bestest frens wud noe dat i've been on probation to become a monitress...
during mah probation...
->i hafta hand in all assignments in on tyme
->i hafta come ta skool on tyme every dae
->i hafta be properly attired at all tymes,in n outta skool
todae was mah last dae of probation...of course,i wud realli haf luved to be reinstated as a monitress...but as is,i hafta be content wif coping wif less troubles,less difficulties...lookin back on mah behaviour and during mah probation period....i realli think i did improve,kinda....but i slacked off as the exams drew close...
i did not make an extra effort to ensure that i was properly attired at all times,and mrx chong was constantly telling me to button up...
i also failed to hand in my homework on time tho i started out pretty ok at the start of my probation period...
the only thing i am proud of is that thruout my probation period i had been coming to school on time...but as it alwaes seems to happen..on my last dae of probabtion,todae, i came late.
wen asked if i wud be reinstated my position as class monitress,i saed i didnt think i wud be given that privilage. i f***ed up fer mah second chance,i tried...i realli did...it's jux,i kinda gaf up towards the end.no one's to blame 'cept mi...but de after-effects were uncalled for...totally uncalled for...
our teacher seemed to turn into a bias bitch in a matter of 30 minutes.
i assume it was cux wen i was monitress,i showed lieniency towards mah close frens in class...peeps lyk vic n shiyun wud alwaes joke arnd in class n i wud joke arnd wif dem abit....but still tell em nicer-ly to go back to their places.n mebbe cux of dat, mrs chong felt dat she cudn't realli scold vic or mah other close frens properly?i dun realli noe...
but afta i had saed dat i wudnt make a gud monitress,n saed i wud step down. mrs chong turned into a bias bitch....
she gaf de whole group of us hu were hanging out angry glares...n den decided dat we shud clean de windows...but we didnt haf any cloth with us,so we were standing arnd,wondering wad we shud do...nad she came up behind me and started yelling her tiny lil head off...lyk.."WAD WERE MAH INSTRUCTIONS?!?!"
so we went off and got tissue paper n stuff....basically she was real bitchy.
she was oso pickin on vic alot..it was sucha dramatic change u noe?from a sweet lil teacher hu seemed concerned dat i wud bring harm to mahself cux i wasnt monitress, to an angry bias bitch....
shant harp on it any furthur. my mom jux called n kinda put mi off mah mood.
yeaa...so pretty pissed off n jux wanna be left alone.ciao peeps...til nxt tyme...
Charis Vera `livedd @ 5:25:00 pm
guess it doesn't sound veri believable if i sae i forgot to go to school ryte?
ok,mebbe i didn't exactly forget...but...oh nvm, the excuse is for mah own concious...
todae is sar's burfdae,so before i forget, happi burfdae sar!!
im wonderin if i shud go meet up wif her ta pass her her burfdae pressie...sam soh n i bot it together...n i think she'll realli lyk it...n i hope she wun end up gettin a belated pressie...i dunno why,it jux seems nicer gettin ur burfdae pressie on ur burfdae instead of...err.."happi belated burfdae arh.."
at least in mah opinion...
o manx,wish i was goin to BEP concert tonite,ah well...nort lyk im dat crazieh over dem...haha...enjoy urselves!->those hu r goin ta de concert....lucky peeps...mah mama didnt mind mi goin actually...n i even asked her ta join mi?cux...vic dey all haf alreadi bot de tix,so i wun be sittin wif dem....n i didn wanna end up a loner sittin by mahself...so i asked mah mama,n she was lyk.."i think it's a bit to0 young fer mi...haha...u go urself lorh" but dunch wan larh....haha....
o ya,went ta watch troy-fer the third tyme...last nite....cried-again...sto0pid orlando bloom-head.....dunch lyk him animore!!
o ya...*announcement*
pL musical comin up!! u peeps all gotta go! n bring ur non-christian peeps as well yeaa?
i'm kinda stonning in front of de com now?yeaa...pretty much....haii....
aniwae,dere aint dat much more ta sae cux i didnt do dat much todae...haha...so...ciao, if dere's anithin more worth tellin dat went on during the dae...i'll see if i feel lyk bloggin in ta tell....i'll see....
ciao
Charis Vera `livedd @ 10:38:00 am
*yawn...* it's currently 12.40 in the morning and i am...fallin asleep while typin this.
it's insane manx...
i'm rushin ta finish dis thing i gotta hand in tomorroe...yeaa, n i'm real tired now...de article is fer reader's digest...hope i'll win *crosses fingers*
it's pretty gud larh...it aint dat bad...haha
last nite's vineyard was pretty ok...rach came. i think she enjoyed it...i THINK.
eli saed she's comin nxt week...hope she remembers to...haha...den mebbe if rach feels lyk it,she can come oso...yeppx.
o manx,now im doin blog entries lyk eli...haha...wdv larh...
vic saed dunno wad barney thing is comin ta cinemas?den i started singing de barney song?yeaa...pretty kewt..
i luv u,u luv mi
barney gaf mi HIV.
it started wif a hug but barney wanted more...
i got raped by the dinosaur.
kinda sick ryte?haha...i noe i noe. aniwae, im fallin asleep as i type this so...gudnyte y'all...ciao
Charis Vera `livedd @ 12:28:00 am
our fear...is not the examination,but having to receive the results afterward.
our fear is knowing how well we understand the subject,because that is basically what an examination determines...how well you understand that particular subject...
while most fear what their parents will do to them because of their results,i fear what will happen to me because of my results...
one of my fears, is to be retained, to be kept back and forced to go through the whole year again,this time without my friends...i also fear being channelled to Normal Academic...
it isn't just because i'll be made to stay back an extra year,rather...it is knowing that just one mistake, prehaps not handing in my homework on time, will cause me to end up in Normal A...
teachers don't ever seem to understand either...that it is not always about getting the highest in class,but about the grades...the marks...
put it this way, which one sounds nicer? to tell someone you topped the class with 80? or you topped the class with 99?
most people i know would rather say "i topped the class with 99..." it just...sounds nicer,don't you think so? but when i tried, when i tried to get even a half mark more from the teacher, to make it sound just a half mark better, she said..
"u're already the highest,or rather...you can't get any higher than what you have aleady got. the highest girl in the level only got half a mark more than you..."
she said that for my newspaper repot i think...she didn't understand that the half mark could've meant my passing or failing...a difference of an a2,or an a1...
the half mark wouldn't have made much of a difference in my grade...but it COULD'VE been...
it might've been...
then tomorrow,we'll hafta go back to school...
hafta re-live the trauma of seeing our results...again...rather pointless duncha think?
one think i lurve about my mama...is that she doesn't really yell or anything when we tell her our results...if it's bad.
she's kinda like..."did you improve?or not..?"
and if the answer is...not...she just sighs and gives this...sad,dissapointed look...ok, thinking about it...it probably would be better if she yelled....but she's real understanding...listens to my "excuses" and in the end i feel like screaming and crying and she's the one who saes.."as long as you did your best..." but i know i didn't... i know if i had out more effort into studying...i might've gotten a wee bit higher...just a lil higher...but higher than what i got...
shan't moan over what's happened animore....i think dat's pretty much it...til next tyme...ciao...
*mah own world*
u ain't no more than a fren
n lyk i said before...
the tears from mah eyes...
r gonna becum the ice around mah heart
Charis Vera `livedd @ 3:35:00 pm
the blog entry i did yesterdae was long long n...long...
it took mi an hour...using dat tyme to type out all mah fustrations wif mah dad...
i clicked on publish n guess wad?
i had no internet connection.
mah hard work...all so precious,was gone in an instant...disappearing before me...
there was nuthing i cud do to save it,or prevent it from happening...
haha...i jux made it sound so dramatic...but i was seriously upset.
musical rehearsals nowadaes are getting really tiring...
yesterdae i overstrained mah voice n ended up takin lozengers most of de tyme...
i didn hafta embarrass mahself in front of de whole choir again...nah,not todae.
it was kinda boring actually,while mrs tan worked on the dance fer jambre's song,most of the main cast went to sleep at the back of the e-hall...yesyes,that includes me...catching up on my precious beauty sleep...
managed ta sae gudbai ta aaron-again,before he n his family left...yesyes,so sweet of mi...haha
n now,i sit in front of mah com...vegetating,n feelin extremely fatt once again...
well,shall end off here..since i realli onli decided ta come home early cux i was extremely tired...haha...so ciao
Charis Vera `livedd @ 3:45:00 pm
although i didn't know aaron that well...i guess i was closer to him compared to soph and sar.i managed to chat with him last week which is why i have concluded as such...
and even though i don't know him that well....i'm gonna miss him...everything's gonna be different without him...but i guess it's harder fer tim...he's real close to aaron.
todae's gudbai-aaron lunch was okae i guess...not that much went on...so guess that was pretty much it...shopping fer sar's burfdae pressie wif sam was fun...kinda realized that sar lyked alot more stuff than i assumed she lyked...haha...
dinner was at home as usual...and i'm now feelin fatt again....shud realli get back to mah diet...haha
i aint exactly lookin foward to the start of skool...again...dey shud seriously consider giving us a one week break afta our exams....which also gifs the teachers more tyme to mark our papers...aniwae,guess i'll end off here...seeing few peeps come here aniwae...haha...ciao then.i take mah leave
*mah own world*
wen u walked...in mah world
i was sumone else's gurl
everytyme...u look in mah eyes...
all that i felt...
sumhow dies...
nono nono...
can't u see wad u're doin ta mi...
nono nono
dun look at mi wif dat smile,
dun act lyk everythin's fyne.
stop puttin dreams in mah head...
wen i shud've thot of him instead
->tell mi now
if it's true...
tell mi if
u luv mi to0
Charis Vera `livedd @ 7:27:00 pm
*mah own world*
stop sending mi messages....
cux it's so hard not to reply.
but everytyme u act lyk dere's nuthin happenin...
it makes mi wanna jux break down n cry.
stop reminding mi dat i hafta ferget u...
cux i noe i can't aniwae...
but i'm tryin...
even tho i dun wanna
->hey y'all....
exams ended without me and i had to go get an MC fer being absent...personally,a total waste of tyme.
celebration was,of course,the best part of everything...but i feel it was simply enjoying the company of friends that one enjoys...true,movies and shopping do play a huge part...but imagine doing all that without your friends...personally? i'd rather not go out than go out alone...unless i have chosen to sulk in silence,but even then i would rather sulk in the company of mah best friend,or mebbe a close friend...
felt left out and extra-dised at sophil's barbeque...she had brought a friend,dez had also brought a friend,the guys were hangin out together...n mi?i was being anti-social n had thus chosen to spend tyme wif mah new friend-mah donald duck tumbler...yeppX,it is truely hypnotising watching it roll around,never falling over...jux rollin n rollin n rollin n...yeaa...pretty much it...then sam soh came ta chat wimme...den we went over to join the conversation everyone else was in...n soon i was left to enjoy mah own company once again...o yeaa...with mah bestest bud->donald duck tumbler...eli more or less kept mi company over the fone as i did her until it started raining heavily.
that was when we all ended up goin to soph's house n the adults stayed in auntie grace's house.chatted for a long while with everyone and plaed games til it was tyme to go home and *poof...that was it...
todae?fer sum strange reason i had decided to put more effort than usual into dressing up...then i spen tthe rest of the time froma bout two plus til 30mins later wandering the primary skool as my mother chatted with mrs veronica khoo during the meet-the-parents session.mah sista's parents did double takes wen they saw mi...i guess they were wonderin hu the mother was...haha...but most of mah sista's frens saed i was pretty...kinda made mah dae i guess...tho it might not neccessarily haf been true... i ten decided to grace dohby goht with my presence..haha...so went around window shopping and takin neoprints...haha...had a lovely dinner...went to church...ate sum more and now...im feelin fatt...wait,im alreadi fatt....so that's fatter than usual i mean...
more lyk...bloated...
sista decided to be XTRA as usual n went off to draw all over the whyte board afta vineyard-jux as everyone was leavin n thus got me n mah mother extremely pissed.if mah mother wasn't there,i'd haf slapped her real hard...but mah mother got that honour...she kinda got a shock i guess...but even after things were more or less clear to her...she held back any apologies and got another earfull from mah mother...
so ends the dae...with mi sitting in front of the computer feeling and looking fatt,and mah eyes half closed...guess i shud end here and go to sleep...o yeaa...fergot ta sae...aaron->one of de vineyard pastor's son is goin back ta texas..fer gud...so sad... but i'll be goin back ta LA soon...ah well...
i shall end off here because i haf more or less fallen asleep typing this nad wudn't be suprised if you fell asleep readin this...well,gudnite y'all...
Charis Vera `livedd @ 11:42:00 pm
hey y'all....
lyke mah new layout?i do...!!wheeeeeeeeeee
haha...startin ta get kinda high now....budden,i kinda deserve it...
it started off realli horrible...chinese paper it was,it's lyk...u cud almost feel de dread de moment u enter de skool...
i was calm,or tryin ta be becux i knew we had 1hr15mins ta study n run thru everything after de home ec. paper...yeppx...dere was a home ec. paper...it's kinda retarded,in mah opinion...it ain't lyk we gonna become chefs or anithin in de future ryte?i mean...a practical exam makes sense...but not theory...!!c'mon...we haf betta things to study fer..n get worried over...it was sad,real sad....i ran thru a few pages of de textbook at the last minute...allowed mahself to catch up on sum much deprived of sleep half wae thru de exam becux i didn realli feel lyk thinkin so hard fer sumthin i wud probably get wrong aniwae....so allowed mahself...15 mins nap?yeaa....around dere,woke up at 9.45...n finished de rest of the paper...*yawn*
spent de break tryin mah best ta go thru all de words as fast as possible,at de last minute i went to de toilet to study wif rach...haha...n we kinda lost track of tyme...i came in fer de exam half an hour late...n de teacher was...ngri,n probably pissed...but she was to0 pissed n to0 lazieh to wait fer mi if she gaf mi xtra tyme so she asked mi to siddown cux she aint gonna gif mi xtra tyme...*gasp* gaf her a look of..."i dunch realli care aniwae" but inside,it was all different...so different...
keeping awake during the exam was a struggle i had to face,another was understanding all those seemingly foreign words on the paper in front of mi...mah attempt to study kinda paid off...i managed ta answer sUm questions...at de last minute...i was literally fallin asleep alreadi,i wanted ta close mah eyes lyk i had during de earlier paper...but i onli had 45mins left b4 de end...n i was still tryin mah bestest to understand de compre passage...i onli managed to gain control of mahself at 11.45...tyme passed so fast,it scared mi...i skimmed de passage[i didn understand a word] den looked at de questions[which i didn understand either]n did mah bestest to answer wad i cud understand...which was veri little by the wae...now..im gonna squeeze in a lil studying n go off ta meet neri fer make-up klass...wheeeeeee.anione wanna go muggin tmr?
Charis Vera `livedd @ 4:10:00 pm
hi...once again....to de emptiness dat seems ta surround mi....haii....
->to huever is readin dis<-
u muz be real free ta come here i guess....haha...ok,nvm...im laffing at nuthin again....haii....
aniwae,yesterdae went out wif ner ta study...intended ta go j8...den in de end went ta wisma....to sum friggin expensive coffee place...aaaaaaaaaarrrgh...now im so broke....poor mi....aniwae,didn get dat much studyin done actually...ended up imagining wierd and colourful futures fer certain ppl..haha...
n dat dae,i actually wasn't intending ta go ta vineyard...but in de end i went...dunno wad made mi suddenly decide ta go....i came in jux as de pastor finished aniwae...
den fer sum reason...i was lyk....real low....i felt sto0pid fer goin ta church,mah mama was pissed wimme...n i didn realli feel lyk tokin or anithin...i dunno why larh....n life jux felt so miserable.....everywhere was so cold.....i cudnt seem ta find warmth aniwhere.....it was sad....real sad...
so i sms-ed eli askin her ta call mi...n she did....so we toked n toked n toked....i kinda fergot about wad...but she totally managed ta cheer mi up...haha....it was wierd...she was tokin bout blowing up de house wif her mama inside as a mama's dae pressie?haha...so evil ryte?tsktsk birdie...haha
yeaa...aniwae...i was bursting out laffing n she wud sae it's kinda freaky...den i wud apologize saying dat i was jux trying ta make mahself laff....den i wud start crying again......haii....guess it was sum stuff dat had been happenin...
aniwae...to tok in private....i went to dis looooooooong daaaaaaaaark corridor...n i was jux sittin dere...half laffing,half crying...tokin on de fone,den dis ladieh hu i think was supposed ta be lockin up doors suddenly came round de corner...n she saw mi she had a heart attack.....haha....it was so farnieh ok....hhahahahah....den i started laffin at nuthin again n eli started gettin freaked out....haha....
yeaa....so we jux chatted fer a real long tyme....den afta dat...i realized calvin fong sms-ed mi....eeeeeeeeeeeww.... n he was askin mi if i was ngri at him or sumthin..?hahaha....wdv.....shan't gif a shit bout him....
*mahownworld*
im cryin ova u lyk a lil gurl hu's fallin down..
pick mi up please,hold mi n tell mi u luv mi....
dat u aint gonna leave mi...dat u aint gonna let mi go...
it's sumthing so quiet....
sumthin so precious i dun wanna do anithin ta ruin it....
but i want...i need reassurance.....
but dere aint gonna be any....
nevermind,it doesnt matter animore....
cux i dun wanna wonder if u're still gonna carry on carin bout mi....
ryte now i noe dat dere are other things which matter more to u...
i aint blamin u....
im jux saying....
i luv u....
but i dun wanna wait.....
leave mi alone fer now....and jux let mi watch u smile from a distance...
I am here to survive,
to live day to day.
I create pain to release pain and live in a tormented world of my own making...
though I never wished it upon myself.
One day,
it will all end,
and I can at last relinquish the pain and the hiding and all of the sorrow....
But I try to go on, and so far, that seems to be the meaning in my life.
To continue until I can no longer....
Charis Vera `livedd @ 11:05:00 am
[me .]
[Countess Jemimah Eveil]
[ex-netballer]
[English Literatury Drama and Debate]
[march17_baby@hotmail.com]
I hope you never fear the
mountains in the distance.
Never settle for the path
of least resistance.
Lovin' might be a mistake
but its worth making.
When you get a chance to
sit it out or dance.
I hope you dance
Promise me you'll give faith
a fighting chance.
Give the heavens above more
than just a passing glance.
Realised i like you
for who you are,
I can't tell you its
a facade:
Don't let your hell bent heart
leave you bitter,
When you come close
to selling out,
please reconsider.
I hope you dance
